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You also have to factor in that particularly with unhealthy pairings, they don’t it easy to move on from them because they often like to pop up in your life and keep a foothold.

But this is why you have to go back to the fact that you and only you are in charge of your experience and that you have to steer yourself out of the breakup waters into the calmer sea of acceptance.

(Take action) If you’re not prepared to answer these questions and move on to the next thought process, give your mind something else to think about.

Boredom is dangerous because when you are bored, you will find that you use that physical and mental energy on them.

You’re voicing your thoughts but not really listening to them.

Thinking about the fact that you’re thinking about them will only exasperate you further.

It was all of the feelings about myself tied to those experiences rather than the actual people themselves, who to be fair, for some of them, I should have been relieved.

So we go back to the safe cocoon of feeling hurt, indignant, angry, frustrated and often in denial about our ex because it stalls the process of being 100% accountable for our own experience…even though we still are.

It’s letting go of what you thought might be and what you thought they were and accepting the reality of who they are. Holding on to anger, indignation, and sorrow is quite easy.

It is important to work your way through the loss and process what has happened and grieve the loss of them otherwise you will get trapped in your feelings of rejection which aside from stalling the grieving process, may cause you to react to those feelings and do stuff that at best is embarrassing and at its worst, humiliating, only for you to still have to feel the loss and end up feeling rejected all over again.

Talking about your ex and rehashing what happened actually breathes life into them, especially if in talking about it, you don’t process the information and draw a conclusion and instead ‘rewind’ and start over – talking can be cathartic but make sure you’re not reliving your relationship and holding on and are instead using it to draw a conclusion and move on to looking at something else about them.

If you’re still talking about the same thing, it means you’re not processing.

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