Dating man 4 kids
It is hard to think about being 2nd, but, if I had kids, they'd come first no matter what, so I love him all the more for getting his priorities straight. Kids are kids, but not forever, and they grow up fast, so give it time, and hopefully it'll work out for the best. I think now at the time I was vulnarable and lonely. Then he had another kid with some girl that he ahd a one night stand with. His baby mamas were terrible to me, always trying to start stuff to much drama I felt like I was on a continuous episode of Jerry Springer. I just want to say it may be great now, but hows it going to be 4 years from now. I wish I could say I had had my husbands first kid not his fourth. Mush as I wanted to accept all his flaws, he was so adamant to compromise anything. now I am very happy with my new man, very responsible, no exwife, no kids. Its the notion well I caught an ok fish but do I really want to put the effort in throwing it back so I can fish for something better. If you love someone but you arent sure then its not love Ive had to learn this.
Money was always tight because of his child support. What do you want in life I never thought about it then, but I think about it everyday now. LOL...seems like decades ago when I wrote about my story here. Someone once told me if a man really loves you hell move heaven and earth for you. If hes putting you on the back burner for other things then its not love its convience for them.
In my opinion only, it MAY be that he is just not comfortable enough with your relationship yet to involve his kids heavily. Try to be very understanding and have a long talk with him to express your concerns. I want him to be a good father, put his children first, go to all the fball games and track meets, but does that mean putting my feelings,needs,wants, on a shelf...settling?!
Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. I know that he wants to spend more time together and that the situation isn't ideal, but at what point does it become a deal breaker? If it's possible love them as much as you love him and it will work out fine. I would say that you need to let him know your feeling and how you would like to be involoved in his activities with his kids.have been with im for 8 months and he must be confused about you or you would be apart of that play time already so make it Loud & Clear what u want out of you relationship with him! i am dating a guy whom i fell so madly in love with but he was divorced twice and had three kids.
What's hard is that I know my parents aren't happy with my situation and they feel like I should find somebody who 1) isn't divorced and 2) doesn't have kids. but his children arent lol i tried so hard to be accepted by them .. and i dont really care anymore .husband is a great father .. but i always have to compromise and be understanding that im not the only one in his life ... It really helps that it's anonymous because I got comments from friends that they would not say to my face. He gets his children every other weekend and on those weekends, I don't see him nor am I invited to do things with them.
What reason does he have for not doing it for eight more? Let them feed off your positive energy & be sure to mention what an admirable, inspiring man you have -yes, as much as possible, even if their stares become ice cold and their words fade into silence... I do understand where he is coming from, although I also definitely understand where you are coming from. For him, it is probably easy to get into the routine with just his kids (not that he is trying to set you aside). I have spent time (dinner...3 times) with the 15 yr old daughter and met the 10 yr old son.Once the kids and I met (about 6 months into our relationship) we hit it off, and it's been great. But it always seemed like I was trying to get attention from him.We live together, and we have the kiddos half of the time. Maybe he's worried about how you'll feel about the kids, or vice-versa. I was getting over an abusive relationship and my mom passing away. He was always busy with his kids, he ignored our son to be with his other kids. His family never accepted me, because they were so close to his ex wife. i know every situation differs..the fact remains the same..has priorities other than you. I think sometimes women settle because we dont think for some reason we arent going to get anything better, past hurts low self esteem etc.I was in your situation, until I broke it off with him yesterday. Your story provides confirmation that I did absolutely the correct thing. They will get over the initial shock of how untraditional your relationship is, and more importantly, that even though this isn't what they envisioned for you, it might be ok -because of the positive changes your relationship causes within you. He also may be somewhat over-protective of his kids and maybe worried about them, in the event that your relationship has issues. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.When he was courting me he promised me everything under the sun, including that I would never be second to his children. It's not all sunshine & roses though -you will have to deal with the kids and ex-wife emotions by yourself, you don't want the parental 'we told you so' -alone, because he will try, but never truly comprehend everything his baggage will put you through, emotionally and otherwise. He probably doesn't want them to be in the middle of any issues or especially a possible break-up. im dealing with the same thang its hard for my parents to understand the chose i made to date a man that is divorce with im going threw a divorce myself with kids like this man im what im doing is showing that im happy now cause of this showing them just me doing the right things in life that i wasnt doing before he came into my life. I am the only woman the kids have met, so he is very protective of them. He also travels alot for work,so in his limited free time he is torn between his kids OR me instead of me AND the kids?